Someone once said, "Every rejection letter received means a writer is one step closer to success."
Hmm...pretty words. True words, but it sure doesn't feel like success is right around the corner when a rejection letter comes.
I'm a writer, so, as you might imagine, I've received my fair share of rejections. The first one hurt--a lot. I took it VERY personally. In fact (as embarrassed as I am to write this), I took it SO personally that I ripped up the first three chapters of my manuscript, and vowed (loudly) that "I will never write again!"
Wow.
There was something about that lit agent's red-penned note that read "Not for me, thanks" at the top of my query letter that went right through me. After I destroyed about 75 pages of my book, while accusing the guy of being unable to recognize talent if it walked up and slapped him across the face, I felt a little better--and sort of stupid. But after my fifteen minutes of diva-esque ranting, I got a grip, and went back to my computer.
As soon as I realized that rejections really AREN'T personal, I was able to accept them, and move on. It wasn't fun to read them, and there was a natural disappointment when my work was declined.
But rejection is a normal part of the writer's life. I learned to deal with it.
My personal least favorite rejection line, one that seems to be a favorite among agents and editors? "Please understand, this is n objective decision". Translation: "I don't like it, but maybe someone else will."
When I first began my hand at writing on a professional level, my rejections were very terse an impersonal, the worst being the word "Pass" scrawled callously across the top of a query letter. As annoying as that was, though, I began to realize that, at the minimum, my queries were being read, and had stayed out of the dreaded slush pile, which was a positive sign.
As time went on, my rejections became more personal. I was actually being referred to by NAME as my work was being declined. Bonus!
Finally, the ultimate in "good" rejections began to arrive. Not only were these addressed to me, by NAME, but there were also personal notes from editors included. "The story is intriguing and I enjoyed reading it, however..." followed by gentle tips on what s/he would rather see, and then a GREAT final paragraph: "If you are willing to submit this with a different slant, one that would be more suited to our magazine, I would be willing to take a look at it. Please try our magazine again soon." The best part of the rejection? Actually HAND SIGNED by the editor who had chosen to pass on my piece. I felt as if I'd been crowned Queen of the May.
It was after receiving those "good" rejections that I began to receive acceptances.
Looking back on my career, I can honestly say that with every rejection I received, I grew more determined and began to write better. Maybe it was the old "I'll-show-you" mentality. Who knows? Whatever it might have been worked. I am now a published (and paid) author.
A very famous 25-year, New York based lit agent, while discussing the rejection process, once admitted that lit agents--even seasoned and successful ones--make mistakes. He confessed that he had rejected a writer, based on his "objective" opinion, and was regretful later when that person went on to become writing successes.
I took some comfort in that interview. It reaffirmed my belief that, even if a piece I'd written was rejected, the writing WAS good...it was JUST as good as when I'd submitted it. The rejection wasn't MY problem, nor did it reflect on my ability to tell a great story.
An agent or editor is a writer's very first critic. Fledgling writers need to remember that these formidable figures in the publishing world are mere mortals with diverse tastes. A writer must also remember that, even if s/he has written the Great American Novel, not everyone is going to like it.
Writers need to be realistic and thick-skinned, determined and motivated; they should use every rejection letter as a learning process. Use them to write better. My advice? Save every rejection letter, refer back to it, and watch the transformation they undergo. When you do this, you'll be able to understand how every rejection takes you one step closer to success.
